When I started my company in 2008, it was because I wanted to help people organize their finances so that they could retire on time. For most, that meant crunching the numbers and knowing if they could afford to retire. Now that 90% of my clients are retired, and I took most of them through the process, I wonder what it is about retirement that makes it so attractive. What’s behind the goal?
Values
Retirement must give us something we don’t have when we work. Something we value. For many, that includes time, freedom, peace.
- Time – Time to do what we want, when we want. This is most often time with family and friends. Research shows the stronger your social network, the better your retirement.
- Freedom – When you’re retired, it means you can do what you want, when you want. If you know where your finances are, you can say yes or no to what you want without worrying if you can afford it.
- Peace – This translates to sleeping well at night, knowing your money is taken care of.
You may value having freedom and time, but have no idea how to get them.
Motivation
My mindfulness coach, Jeff Cowan, asked me a question in our last session that gave me pause. “What would success look like to you?” But then he challenged me not to define it with words, but to tell him how it would feel. That’s because goals are emotional, not rational. Ask yourself, how would retirement feel? That feeling you’re chasing might be the values you have like freedom, peace, or security. Those feelings will motivate you towards your goals. But once you’re there, what next?
Purpose
Alfred D. Souza said “Happiness is a journey, not a destination.” Once you’re retired, how do you make it a success? I’ve heard that purpose gets you out of bed. And it doesn’t have to be “save the world” type stuff either. It can be as simple as – I am going to spend all day on my deck with family and grill the best steaks today.
So how do you help flesh out your purpose, your why? Know who you are.
Identity
Research shows that goals are about identity, not outcomes. Author James Clear, in his bestselling book Atomic Habits, and behavioral scientist BJ Fogg show that most lasting goals are rooted in who you want to become, not what you want to achieve. People who lose their career lose their identity. So you have to create a new one. If you’re struggling with your identity in retirement, here are two quick exercises to get you started:
- Perfect Tuesday – tell me about your perfect, ordinary day in retirement. In this case, Tuesday. When do you wake up? What do you do first? Who’s with you? How does it feel? Routines reveal values. They’re not grandiose expressions of lying on a hammock in Maui while someone brings your Mai Tais. Or maybe they are, and you identify as a traveler. Either way, tell me your perfect retired Tuesday.
- The Rocking Chair Test – When you’re 85 years old and looking back, what would make you feel your retirement was well-lived? The Rocking Chair Test helps you avoid regrets.
Takeaway
Retirement isn’t just about numbers. It’s about values and how they make you feel. That’s what motivates you. Beyond that, when you’re retired, you’ll need an identity. Something to cling to when your job title is gone. Who do you want to become in retirement? If you’re not sure, try the Perfect Tuesday or the Rocking Chair Test. They ask the right questions. When you finally know what’s behind a goal, you’ll embrace the journey.
